If you want to reach a state of bliss, then go beyond your Ego and the internal dialogue. Make a decision to relinquish the need to control, the need to be approved and the need to judge. Those are the three things the Ego is doing all the time. It’s very important to be aware of them every time they come up.~ Deepak Chopra
The modern day concept of ego was first created by good old Sigmund Freud. Originally, Freud defined the word ego as a sense of self. Later, he revised his definition of ego to mean the organized realistic part of the psyche; he broke it up into three compartments of human behaviour that relied upon one another for balance. He called them the Id, The Ego and the Superego. It all got quite complicated after that, and to me maybe irrelevant.
Perhaps he should have stopped at his first analysis of the Ego which to me represents that part of ourselves that identifies us versus others, and tells us that our and only our beliefs in any given situation, are the right ones.
In terms of an Ego discussion, we can not know what we are up against until we understand what we are dealing with. From my point of view, our ego feeds off others because in the absence of others it can not live. As an example: If someone says something to us ‘that we don’t like’ we could only dislike it if there was someone there to do something that we didn’t like. The ego could be seen as that part of ourselves that separates our ‘ideas’ from others.
Each to Their Own
Is the Ego something that we are born with? I am sure many won’t disagree, yet in most instances we are simply receiving “input” on an ongoing basis. We are nurtured by the living examples around us from our parents to other children and then later on in life from society in general. In our early years, we learn to compare ourselves to everyone and everything, from fat to thin to clever or stupid, even rich or poor. Interestingly, seldom have we really been shown that despite our different ideas and situations we are all essentially divine beings having this experience called life, and that what is right for us might not be right for someone else. The thriving ego in contrast to respect for another persons individual way of thinking and being, go together about as well as oil and water.
Many modern day spiritual teachings have clear and repetitive messages that show us ways in which to deal with this little devil called Ego by seeking moments of inner silence and meditation, trying to think positively and loving one another. While these are all good practice and very necessary, it’s not always easy though to remain calm and not sweat the small stuff. This is a process and perhaps a life long battle between our true self (spirit) and the Ego. But surely all things in life are here for creating wisdom? Should we really exclude the things that we refer to as our enemies (ego), or perhaps we learn the most from the things that push us against a wall?
Now I don’t believe life is designed to be an uphill battle, and it can be if we choose to react to every single situation which we ‘don’t agree’ with. Therefore to avoid all chaos, it is important to recognize the ego and then strive to keep it in check, so that it does not dominate our every day existence. One of the ways we can do this as an example, is to consider what comes out of our mouths before we speak or react and from this learn to distinguish what is really going on verses the underlying itch, which wants to react immediately.
Yes, the Ego is the incessant internal mental chatter that dissects and analyzes all situations relative to what we believe and then decides whether or not it is in agreement. The Ego seeks to protect itself from differing opinions and ideas by being argumentative to the point of making little common sense. In essence the Ego is the bulldog that guards the gate of our belief systems.
Our Ego’s or mental noise, and Love or consciousness (being aware) can not exist at the same time and so perhaps a good question to ask ourselves before we react mentally or speak is, where is what I am about to say coming from, a place of Love or a place of Ego? And then decide what we want to be in that moment and which is better to express?
You Are Not Your Ego
Perhaps the biggest Ego trick of all is that we believe that we are what goes on in our minds. We assume that because 100′s of scenario’s go on inside the head all the time, that it is just us thinking and therefor who we are and just our personality. This begs a fundamental question, what do you really believe about yourself? Because what you believe get’s filtered through your ego and into everyday life in the form of your many reactions and responses. We need to keep this thought in the forefront of our minds so that we train our thinking to respond from the deeper part of who we are, and not just from the superficial Ego.
We were born perfect, untouched with a fully functioning mind. A young mind like a sponge absorbs many things in order to adapt and learn. In saying this we should consider that Ego is a learned state of thinking rooted in our learned beliefs over the period we call our life. Many times after we react negatively, spitefully, insensitively, judgmentally or with unkindness we might feel regretful. These feelings of regret could never come through as a result of a loving action because love only produces more of the same. This is a good exercise however in learning how to distinguish between the two.
Don’t Take It Personally – Let it Go
We take things too personally in life often with out understanding why we do. The first thing that comes up most times are things like “How dare you”, “Who do you think you are” and so forth. The ego makes us believe that someone outside of us is challenging us, disappointing us and what they are saying is true.
If we didn’t believe it in any way to be true it would have no effect on us, so the interesting question is what do you believe about who you are in those moments?
Another ego manifestation would be when we try to enforce our ways of thinking onto others because we believe that we are right, our way is the right way, such expressions go something like “What’s wrong with you?”, “What are you looking at”, “Stop being silly”. Etc.
The Ego is everything that Love isn’t. It is noisy and judgmental and is that part of ourselves that is indeed inflated bringing us to the understanding that somehow our ideas, our way of doing things is superior, more correct or wiser than the next person.
From Love’s point of view we are all entitled to our own opinions and feelings and Love knows that there really is no right and wrong but perhaps a gentle balance or compromise to find a common understanding.
If someone is mean to you most times you are dealing with an Ego, consider how you contributed to the situation or at the least choose to respond
The Road To The Light is Paved with Ego Intentions?
So we are on a road where we hope we will learn to appreciate that while we are all fundamentally ‘the same’ in our purest form (spirit) we are all on this earth for different reasons, we all have a unique journey to fulfill no matter what that entails. We should strive to not harm others with our words or our actions especially those words that stem from a place (ego) other than love.
In an ego based world we creatures of creation spend far too much time in judgment of other people’s journeys, so much in fact, that we often forget to focus on our own and then we wonder at times why we feel so lost. The ego will of course look for someone else to blame in this instance.
Next time you react catch yourself and ask where the feelings come from, is it mind chatter and ego or does it stem from the heart? What do you prefer and choose?
Choose to live your life by following your own path and when others cross your path instead of forming an opinion, stop, listen and if you don’t agree say so with love in mind.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~ Marianne Williamson
Showing vulnerability for most is not an easy thing to do. We trust only a few anyway, perhaps close family or friends? Though for some maybe no one at all. It is said, that without trust in any kind of relationship you have nothing and there is much truth in this; if we believe that we have everything to lose and nothing to gain, it will be very hard for us to trust people.
This in my opinion is a fundamental human belief system flaw. We need to return to that place before we were taught the bad instead of the good. To attempt to start believing in the power of possibilities again, the possibility that what we are really doing here on earth has nothing to do with hurting each other but rather helping one another.
